1. Nine West's Lahdidah $49.99 (courtesy of ninewest.com)
2. Marc by Marc Jacobs Peeptoe Slingback $330.00 (courtesy of Bloomingdales)
2. Marc by Marc Jacobs Peeptoe Slingback $330.00 (courtesy of Bloomingdales)
DAILY HEEL WATCH
It's only the end of January and everyone is itching for Spring already. Here is a shoe to WARM YOU UP!
Viktor and Rolf's Satin Ruffle Sandal (courtesy of Bloomingdales)
(CHINESE) NEW YEAR, NEW YOU... NEW DISH (GINGER SCALLION SALMON)
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY!
*
Vikki doesn’t like to cook.
Or clean.
Or do laundry.
I guess it helps when you have a live-in who does all of that for you.
But when her live-in gets a Sunday off, Vikki steps up to the plate and reminds her family that she is capable of making a delicious meal… and can load up the dishwasher.
Believe me, if this dish was too difficult, Vikki wouldn’t be making it.
**
- Ginger (sliced or minced)
- Chopped scallions
- Salmon (large cut - deboned)
- Peanut oil
Wash and dry the salmon. Place scallions and ginger right on top of the salmon. Wrap in tin foil and place in oven for about 20 minutes at 350, until salmon is cooked through. If you are cutting it into portioned sizes, a bit less time in the oven… unless you like your salmon well done.
On the stove top, sauté the ginger and scallions in peanut oil.
How to Plate: Cut salmon into pieces and dress sauce over the salmon and serve! Voila!
TREND WATCH - ZIP UPS
I've been so RELAXED while drinking my spa water, I haven't even THOUGHT about cooking!
But I have searched the net for a popular trend in all price ranges-- the ZIP UP.
Here they are:
1. Sergio Rossi's Narrow Zip - $670.00 (courtesy of Neiman Marcus)
2. L.A.M.B.'s Nayuta - $250.00 (courtesy of zappos.com)
3. Aldo's Tavira - $90 (courtesy of aldoshoes.com)
4. Forever 21's Premiere Platform Pumps - $32.80 (courtesy of forever21.com)
FRANKIE SAY RELAX (WITH SPA WATER)
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: (LESS THAN) OY! *
Times are tough. There's no doubt about that.
Often the luxuries in life have to be cut out to make room for necessities. Like food, water, electricity... and shoes.
But if you have to cut out your "spa day" or have no money to go get that massage you really really need, I have a cheap alternative.
No, I don't mean going to that Thai place down the street. The following drink is the one thing that can always keep me close to a state of relaxation-- a refreshing and fancy take on H2O.
**
- Water
- 1 Lemon, sliced
- 1 Lime, sliced
- ½
- ½ Cucumber, sliced
- Ice cubes (optional)
Add all together, and stir only once.
How to Serve: In a pitcher, pour in water and enjoy. You can jazz up your glasses with a wedge of lemon or cucumber!
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Stella McCartney's T-Strap Sandal (courtesy of Bergdorfs)What a fun Spring sandal! Bring on the sunshine!
THE HUNG-OVERMELE
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY!
*
Had a great time last night with some friends, but had one or two too many margaritas.
As it always goes, I woke up with a HORRIBLE hangover. And what better way to cure a hangover than with a great breakfast?
So, I got up, stumbled to the kitchen... and demanded my boyfriend make me this! After all, I AM hungover and can't even think about cooking.
**
- 3-4 Eggs
- Cheese of preference (I love American in my eggs... don't ask me why)
- Veggies of preference (personal favorites: tomato, onion, spinach)
Overmele is the Roman ancestor of our present-day omelet. It just sounds really fancy.
Warm your griddle or pan while you crack and whisk your eggs. Oil, butter or Pam the pan. Add the whisked eggs to the griddle and let them cook. When the edges start to rise, add in your veggies and cheese. Fold the circular egg formation over. Cook and flip over until it’s done!
How to Plate: If you do a good job folding over the egg, there is really no need to add anything else to the plate… although, fresh fruit ALWAYS adds some color and sweetness to breakfast!
Treif: Go all the way—add some bacon or deli turkey to your omelet to get as far away from being kosher as humanly possible.
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Christian Louboutin's Petal Sandal (courtesy of Neiman Marcus)SHOUT OUT TO L SHAPIRO!
Pretty, delicate and sexy all at the same time. A perfect Spring shoe.
DAILY HEEL WATCH
YSL's Stud Sandal (courtesy of Barneys New York)I know, I know. I post these "Daily" Heel Watches multiple times throughout the day. I just can't help myself.
I guess I have no self control when it comes to great shoes.
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Jimmy Choo's Whipstitched Platform Sandal (courtesy of Bergdorf's)Maybe it's just me, but I don't get this whole Morocco Thing.
What do YOU think?
DON'T (TOMATO) SHOOT THE MESSENGER
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY! *
You can't be beautiful, fabulous and gorgeous all the time. Some days, you feel like shit-- and no offense, you probably look like shit too.
Every so often (at least once a month when Aunt Flo is in town) you need a meal of comfort. Something you can chow down on with your hair in a bun and your face dotted with pimple medicine.
**
- Can of Campbell's Tomato Soup
- Garlic infused Olive Oil
- Basil (dried or fresh)
- Red Pepper Flakes (optional)
- Gouda cheese ( I prefer the double creme)
- Goat cheese
- Blue cheese
- Parmesean cheese -- freshly shredded
- Whole wheat French baguette or wheat bread of choice
In a pot, follow Campbell's directions in making the soup. I like to add a dash of red pepper flakes, garlic-infused olive oil and dried basil to spice it up!
On the stove top, heat a pan with a dash of the olive oil. Place two slices of toast in the pan and place a mixture of both cheeses in the middle. Wait until they begin to melt and bring the slices together to make a sandwich. This also works well on a George foreman or similar grill, adding grill markings on the sandwich.
How to Plate: If you are having an appetizer party, the above dish can be a fabulous chic twist on comfort food. Fill the tomato soup in a over-sized shot glass and cut the grilled cheese sandwiches into bite-size bits! Or pair the shooter with some crackers. (See picture I took for guidance)
DON'T WAIT AROUND FOR HIM AND BE BLUE (CORN TORTILLA CRUSTED CHICKEN)
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY! *
That guy you used to love has moved on to other women, but you know in your heart that he could have been the one for you.He didn't realize what he had when he had you.
But that's HIS problem. Stop being blue and just tell him "EFF YOU"!
Have 3 friends over and throw yourself a Mexican Fiesta!
**
- 4 Chicken cutlets (pound 'em out flat in a plastic bag with the back of a wine bottle)
- 1 bag of Blue Corn Tortilla Chips
- 1 can of black beans, drained
- 1 container of fresh Pico de Gallo
- 6 pack of Corona (for washing away your sorrows-- not really in the recipe)
In the same manner and in a different bag, pounding the chicken flat will get out your anger and aggression towards that asshole who broke your heart.
Take the pounded chicken and shake it in the closed bag with the crushed tortilla chips.
Line a baking sheet with tin foil, spray with a little canola oil (Pam) and bake the crusted chicken for 20 minutes on 395.
How to Plate: Arrange a layer of beans, then the chicken, topped with a few spoonfuls of the pico de gallo.
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Sergio Rossi Halter Heel (courtesy of Neiman Marcus)I tried to pick something Red, White and Blue... but you'll have to do without the Red.
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Costume National's Triple Band Sandal (courtesy of Barneys)I'm loving the blue acrylic heel!
CHICKEN AND SUN DRIED TOMATO SALAD
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY!*
If your mishpucha is coming over for dinner and they want to eat light, it’s OK to be a bit of a Tukhes Lecher and make this dish.
After they take a bite, believe me, they’ll want to leches your tukhes!
This is also a delicious mid-week dinner.
**
· Bag of Lettuce
· Chicken cutlets
· Low Fat Balsamic Vinaigrette ( I prefer Newman's Own)
· Mozzarella (small log or bite-size in water)
· Package of sun dried tomatoes (chop into small pieces)
· Pine nuts
Get the stove top started and spray your pan with oil. Throw in your chicken and begin cooking. Rinse lettuce with water and spin or pat dry. Add to large bowl. Chop up mozzarella and tomatoes and add to salad bowl. Throw in a handful of pine nuts.
Check your chicken! When it is "almost" done, add a dash of the vinaigrette to coat and cook onto the chicken. Put the cooked meat onto a plate and cut into bite-size pieces. Make sure it’s fully cooked. If not, throw the cut pieces back into the pan. Believe me, you do not want to cause any salmonella outbreaks.
Add dressing to salad. Again, remember to not over-do it. Toss the salad. Eat.
How to Plate: Small portion on a crisp white rectangular plate.
Parve: Don’t add the cheese… or replace chicken with fish! Now you’ve got a kosher salad!
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Louis Vuitton's Lime Wedge Sandal (courtesy of eLUXURY.com)I want to Blade Run out to the store right now and pick these up!
SOMETIMES...
... You've gotta kick off your heels,Put on some flats,
(in this case, Lanvin courtesy of Barneys New York)
And have a SUSHI NIGHT OUT!
(in this case, Lanvin courtesy of Barneys New York)
And have a SUSHI NIGHT OUT!
DAILY HEEL WATCH
2 pairs of Alexander McQueen (courtesy of Zappos)
I mean, seriously -- hot pink and chevron. Two of my favorite things!
I mean, seriously -- hot pink and chevron. Two of my favorite things!
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Proenza Schouler's Ankle Wrap Sandals (courtesy of Bloomies)Not the biggest fan of annoying ankle wraps, but these have an art deco quality I kinda dig.
THE EASIEST DESSERT EVER
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: (less than) OY!*
I was fortunate enough to have two strappingly handsome gentlemen over my house last night, but I just didn't have the energy to make a cake or cookies or brownies-- anything difficult, really-- to celebrate their presence.
So, I got my Jackson Pollock on and made a chic dessert that's light and nothing short of stunning.
Two ingredients. That's all you need.
So, I got my Jackson Pollock on and made a chic dessert that's light and nothing short of stunning.
Two ingredients. That's all you need.
**
- Cherries (there ARE late-season cherries in your local grocer!)
- Gourmet Chocolate Syrup (I prefer a Chocolate Syrah Sauce you can find online or in wine country)
DAILY HEEL WATCH
Jimmy Choo's Mary Jane Bootie (courtesy of Bergdorf's)CUTE CUTE CUTE! I need these.
TERIYAKI TURKEY BURGER
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY!
*
The annual dance recital.
This was a big production. Schmaltzy costumes, stage moms... the whole shpilkes.
Morning of my big tap routine, I couldn't find my shoes.
In a complete craze, my mom grabbed my patent leather dress shoes and we headed out the door.
On stage, while I was tapping away in my faux tap shoes, my shoe fell off.... and flew a few feet away.
With a moment of panic, I kept on tapping my little shoe-less foot.
As the dance number proceeded, I found a moment to move over and shuffle back into my shoe.
The crowd went wild (well, maybe just in my head)... and I realized that sometimes you just can't plan everything, and improvisation leads to improvement!
Skip the ketchup and go gourmet by improvising on the simple burger. A scrumptious dish and a perfect alternative for the BBQ!
**
- 1 lb. lean ground
- “Soy Vey” teriyaki sauce (the best!)
- ½ cup of chopped onions
- ½ cup of chopped broccoli
- ½ cup of chopped carrots
In a bowl, mix all veggies into the turkey meat. Fold in about ¼ cup of teriyaki sauce. Feel free to use your hands to mix everything together—get dirty… it feels good! Pam your pan or use the good ole George Foreman to cook these yummy burgers up.
How to Plate: Serve with or without buns, drizzle a dash of extra teriyaki sauce on top! If this is for a party, make mini burgers and stack on a large platter!
A WORD ABOUT BREAKFAST
Break fast.
We’re not talking about Yom Kippur here, but the word itself means “breaking the fast.” I am talking about the end of the daily 7-12 hour fast between dinner and your next meal… which hopefully includes some fresh orange juice and coffee.
** For the Carbohydrate Impaired: Carbs are best consumed in the first half of the day for proper digestion
We’re not talking about Yom Kippur here, but the word itself means “breaking the fast.” I am talking about the end of the daily 7-12 hour fast between dinner and your next meal… which hopefully includes some fresh orange juice and coffee.
** For the Carbohydrate Impaired: Carbs are best consumed in the first half of the day for proper digestion
THE 9-AM BURRITO
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY!
*
After a night of shtupping, I always wake up really, really hungry.
I’m not talking about a slice-of-toast hungry. Or even a yogurt-with-fruit hungry. I need something that will give me that extra boost, a breakfast that will continue my “flying high” zone.
And this is the breakfast of all breakfasts—the type of morning fare that can do the job.
This is a great and relatively mess-free breakfast in bed!
**
- 2 Tortillas, low carb or whole wheat
- 4 eggs
- 2 handfuls of shredded cheese– whatever you like (it’s completely up to you)
Add the bacon to a medium heat already hot pan (no oil needed – these have enough in them to cook). If you like your bacon uber-crunchy, wrap them in paper towels and throw them in the microwave for 2-3 minutes. Timing depends on your microwave. In a bowl, crack and whisk (with a fork) the eggs.
If you are scared of eggshell in your eggs, hit the bowl’s edge twice with minimal force to ensure a clean break. When the bacon is done, take them out of the pan or microwave with a fork and set aside on a paper towel to blot excess oil. Lightly oil or butter your pan (depending on desired caloric intake) and cook your eggs.
Some girls do not know how to cook eggs – so here is a rule of thumb: As the eggs cook, push the cooked egg towards the center of the pan with a spatula. This allows the raw egg to spill over and cook onto the open areas of the pan.
When the eggs are done, divide into 2 portions and set aside. Re-oil or butter your hot pan, and put one tortilla flat. Spread one handful of cheese onto the tortilla and watch it begin to melt. Before the tortilla burns and before the cheese is fully melted, add one portion of egg and 2 pieces of turkey bacon. Wrap up and dig in! Repeat with the other tortilla.
How to Plate: To hold the wrapped burritos together, use a toothpick!
I know you are capable of making this delicious breakfast. Mazel Tov! Let’s see what kind of macher you really are…
Parve: Leave out the bacon. Period.
CHICKEN PARM (NO CARB OPTIONAL)
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY VAY!
*
This recipe is so good; you will be praised after dinner. Literally. Your man will be reciting the Haggadah. You will be a trophy wife in no time. Seriously, though, this is one of my staples. Every woman should know how to make an absolutely scrumptious PARMESAN! **
• Chicken cutlets• Italian Breadcrumbs (optional)
• 1 can or jar of Marinara sauce (NO chunks)
• 1 bag of shredded Pizza Cheese (aka Mozzarella)
Dip your cutlets into breadcrumbs. No need for egg. With no breading, coat the chicken in garlic powder and dried basil. Put cutlets in a pyrex dish in your oven at 375 for 20 mintues. Bake through (this means no pink chicken!) Take out of oven, while you add your Marinara and top with a hearty helping of cheese. Pop it back in the oven until the cheese browns. Take out of oven. Breathe Deep. Serve.
How to Plate: Chicken Parmesan looks best on top of a small pile of pasta (or salad if you are eating light!)
Parve: To make this dish a kosher delicacy, THINK AGAIN. Just kidding. You can always replace the chicken with eggplant. For Eggplant Parmesan—pre-bake the sliced eggplant in the oven with dashes of salt for about 15 minutes. Follow rest of recipe.
TURKEY CHILI
DIFFICULTY LEVEL: OY!
On a cold winter ski day in
Although not very experienced, I was able to keep up (for the most part) with my pro-level ski friends.
On the last run of the day, after a few beers, I decided to take another route.
Unfortunately, the path I chose was a double black diamond with MOGULS.
After a rough ride down, and a long day on the slopes, I make this to warm our bellies:
**
- Garlic, minced, 1 tablespoon
- 1lb ground turkey
- Chili powder
- 1 can of black and / or white beans, drained (I use one of each)
- Picante sauce (glass jar), mild or spicy
- 1 can of stewed tomatoes (with liquid)
- 1 medium onion
- Blue corn tortilla chips for dippin!
Chop and cook the onions and garlic in pan with a bit of olive oil. Let them soften and add turkey and cook through (break it up in little pieces... not patties.) Add (5-7) dashes of chili powder to meat and onions as it cooks.
In a big pot, add: Picante, 1 can of stewed tomatoes with juice, beans (drained) and cooked turkey/onions/garlic mixture. Mix all together and add 4 tablespoons of chili powder... or more to taste! Put top on pot and keep at medium-low heat, stir every 5 minutes for 20 minutes. Let pot sit on low or off... keep stirring and enjoy!
How to Plate: Spoon into bowl. Add a dollop of sour cream or guacamole and insert one tortilla chip to stand upright in center of bowl.
Trief: Add cheese or sour cream! Goy it up!
MY GLOSSARY OF YIDDISH TERMS
A Gezunt Dir in Pupik: May you have good health and prosper
Alta Cocker: An old geezer
Bubbala / Bubbe: Grandma, a loved one
Chicken Cutlet: Something yummy and delicious
Chutzpah: Nerve
Drek!: Shit!
Ess gezunterhait: Eat in good health
Geferlekh: Awful
Geshmak: Delicious, savory, yummy
Getting “Nicole Richie” on You: Becoming slightly anorexic
Goy / Goyim / Goyisha: A non-Jew, something very WASPy
Keppie / Keppalah: Forehead
Khozzerye: Junk food
Klutz: Mess-maker, clumsy
Kosher Chicken Stock: Something usually very salty
Kvell and Plotz: Be proud and explode
Kvetch: Complain, whine
Macher: Big shot, boss, ambitious person
Mazel Tov: Congratulations
Meeskite Nafka / Nafka: Ugly Whore, a real slut
Mensh: A do-gooder, humanitarian
Meshuggeneh: A crazy person
Mirkennen lecken di finger: Finger lickin’ good!
Mishpucha: Family
Mitzvah: A good deed
Neshoma: Soul
Nosh: To snack, a snack
Oy Gevalt!: Holy shit!
Oy vez mear!: Woe is me!
Parshoin: A hero
Parve / Parave: Kosher
Pork Chop: Something not Parve
Petseleh: Little penis
Schlepping: Drag around
Schmaltz / Schmaltzy: Chicken fat, sentimental, corny, glitzy
Schmuck: A dick, the family jewels
Seafood: Another non-Parve food group
Shiksa: A non-Jew, a Goy female
Shmatte: A rag, a piece of shit
Shmooze: To yap until the cows come home
Shpilkes kishka: Impatient belly
Shtup: To have sex with, make love to
Tchotchke: A shmatte, an adornment
Treif / Treife/ Trayfe: food that is not Kosher, refer to “Seafood”
Tukhes lecher: Butt kisser, brown-noser
Yenta: A loud mouth, a Jewish woman
Zaftig: Plump, juicy, appealing
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